Some mornings I wake up and the entire day feels like an indulgence, like something for which I should feel guilty. As a mother who stays at home I often find myself waffling between that typical martyr syndrome and feeling guilty for enjoying my time.
Many of the daily tasks aren't something that can be measured, or even noticed for that matter. We cleaned all of the refrigerator shelves or sorted all of the socks. I will find myself talking about these tasks to David to make sure he knows I am doing them. Then I will find myself sitting quietly in the kitchen alone eating a particularly tasty meal, maybe while watching hulu or surfing flickr, and I'll feel guilty that I'm doing this while he's off working.
How typical for a mom to feel bad about enjoying part of my day, for taking a part of the day all for me. I have to remind myself that these indulgent moments are important for me to balance the tougher parts of the day like coping with tantrums or picking up the messy house for the umpteenth time. I have to remind myself that this job I have is stressful and warrants some quality down time, because the happier and more rested I am the happier my family is in return.
So I have three loads of laundry to do today, and three meals to prepare. I've got pick-ups and drop-offs to do in the rain, homework to help with, probably some time-outs to dole out. I'll have to play thirteen games of Uno before the day is done, beds to make, dishes to clean..and on and on
but..
I sat and had an absolutely delicious breakfast this morning all by myself- peaches, feta, and raw honey on a baguette with coffee. I've chatted with friends online. Later, I'll pick up this, this, and this book at the library that they have on hold for me...nothing better than some indulgent reading. And I'll definitely sneak in plenty of time for hugs and jokes with my family.
I like to think I'm way too spoiled to be a martyr, and isn't that the point? Balance out the thankless parts of life with treats so instead of feeling under appreciated I end up feeling lucky that this is my life.
